


"for science"

by station43



Series: reid & alvez drabble thingies [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/station43/pseuds/station43
Summary: “That’s uh… That’s probably something that I never thought I would want to know…” Luke said. “What about gay men?”“What?” Reid asked.“You said girls prefer average sized penises but what about men?Based on the prompt:  Please put your penis away.





	

He’s about to go to sleep. He’d just finished the book he’d been reading and set it on top of the stack of finished books next to his bed when his phone vibrated. He checked the time, 2:07 a.m. who was texting him at 2:07 a.m? 

He hoped that it wasn’t Emily calling the team in on an emergency case, he really didn’t want to have to get dressed and go all the way to the BAU office again, maybe the serial killers could take the night off. For once. 

But it wasn’t Emily. It was Luke. 

What could Luke have wanted at two am? Reid clicked to open the text, which was apparently a picture message. 

He wished he hadn’t opened it once he saw it. 

It’s a picture of his penis.  A picture of Luke’s penis that he was not expecting to see.  

All of a sudden he’s not so tired anymore. 

He texts Luke back with the only thing he can think of…

**‘Please put your penis away.’**

Luke texted back almost immediately, ‘What?’

Spencer blinked at the phone before he started typing. 

‘You just sent me a picture of your penis with no context I think I should be the one asking questions’. 

Luke called him this time instead of responding via text. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said before Reid could even greet him. “I totally meant to send that to someone else…” 

Reid paused before he answered, “Who did you mean to send it to?” he asked, genuinely curious. 

“What?” Luke asked. 

Reid didn’t repeat his question, instead he moved on to a new subject, “It’s not a bad penis,” he said. 

Before Luke could get a word in he elaborated on that statement, “Studies have shown that to women who prefer to orgasm through vaginal sex prefer longer penises then the average five and a half inches. But, that a penis longer than 7.5 inches it becomes unattractive to women because of the possible pain associated with vaginal intercourse with a penis of that size. So men with a slightly above average sized penis, but not extremely above average, like yourself from the looks of it, are much more likely to be successful at vaginal intercourse…” 

“That’s uh… That’s probably something that I never thought I would want to know…” Luke said. “What about gay men?” 

“What?” Reid asked. 

“You said girls prefer average sized penises but what about men?” 

“Well there’s a lot less statistical data on what gay men prefer sexually, for obvious reasons. The National Institute of Health tried to do a study on the subject in 2009. But the only data that came from it was the fact that men with larger penises tend to be ‘tops’ while men with smaller penises are usually ‘bottoms’. People were horrified because apparently the NIH used part of an $899,769 grant in 2006 to conduct the study and apparently studying the mechanics of penis size in gay sex is not something that people want their tax money to go towards.

“In 2010 a study was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior which stated that there was little research among men who have sex with men assessing the association between penis size and socio-sexual health. It found that men with larger penises were more likely to contract certain sexually transmitted diseases. It also found that men with above-average penises enjoyed more satisfaction with their lifestyle. 

“But I don’t know of any statistics that suggest there being a correlation between size and pleasure in sexual intercourse in gay men…” 

“That’s interesting…” Luke said. 

Reid nodded into the darkness although Luke couldn’t see him through the phone. 

“Anyway,” Luke said. “You should get some rest…”

“You should too…” Reid said. 

“Yeah.” Luke said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. Goodnight.” 

* * *

The next morning Reid found himself running to catch the elevator so that he didn’t have to wait for it to cycle back again. Luckily, Luke was inside and held it for him. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Reid asked him. He stepped inside the elevator just before it closed. 

“Do I what?” Luke asked. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” 

“No…” Luke said. 

“Oh…” Reid stared at the ground. “You never told me who that picture was supposed to be sent to…” 

“Oh!” Luke said. He took a deep breath. “I met this guy on Grindr, but he uh… we’re not… anything…” 

Reid nodded, “Good. Because I was thinking… maybe we could do a little research of our own.” 

Luke raised an eyebrow, “Are you asking me to have sex with you?” He asked. His eyes went wide as he stared at Reid, waiting for an answer. 

“For science,” Reid said. 

Luke rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t sound like a very statistically sound study.. but if you insist…” he said. 

Reid nodded and then he leaned in to kiss Luke on the cheek. “I do insist,” he grinned, and then turned towards the elevator doors which opened to face the hallway leading to the bullpen. “Case notwithstanding, come by my place at eight?”

Luke nodded slowly as he watched Reid exit the elevator. It was going to be a long day. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to send me prompts on tumblr i'd love that my tumblr is [drmalayapineada.](https://drmalayapineada.tumblr.com/ask) uh. I hope you guys like this fic lol.


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